It’s Fall. I hate Fall. It reminds me of death and the end of things. I know so many love the colors of changing leaves, apple picking and pumpkin spice everything. Not me. Okay, I like fresh apples, but when I see the changing colors it depresses me. I don’t see the colors as glorious, I see that as defeat.
Generally, I’m an optimistic person. Fall sucks out my optimism. I find myself holding my breath for winter solstice. Days getting longer makes me happy, not these short, cold, dark ones. I watch the squirrels being gluttonous; fattening up. Yellow Jackets wasps get so aggressive: I guess the short days make them feel it too. My ducks are going into their coop earlier and earlier, and they curtail exiting in the morning until the sun’s rays strike the coop door. I miss the ducks jubilation. They are too subdued. We got them some minnows for their pond (good protein for winter.)
I do like Thanksgiving, but that is more for the opportunity to express gratitude and grace openly without seeming too sappy. That is a plus. I love pumpkin and apple pie too, but I can have that anytime of the year. I keep trying to find something redeeming about Autumn. I keep coming up empty. I love spring and summer and even an occasional snowstorm in winter is pretty, but Fall? Ugh, I hate Fall.
Perhaps if I look at it as a journey to rest? I have had people say that to me. That it is rest for the trees and flowers. No. It just seems awful that they wither and die back or their glorious green leaves fade to oranges, yellows, and crimsons. Withering, dropping to the ground to be raked, mowed and mulched.
Rain is the worst in Fall. It mattes the leaves together, moldy and leathery. It’s an impossible task to clean them up. It makes your skin clammy and the furnace kicks on.
I stopped writing this story for a bit to try to find something redeeming about Fall. To try not to be so negative. Then my daughter sent me a pic of the sunrise this morning. It was magnificent. It was a new day for my daughter and me and you. Guess that’s a pretty good thing. I’ll add that photo to the bottom of this.
I’ll try to have a bit more gratitude. I have trouble with that, especially this time of year. I will practice counting my blessings. Thank you for Delaney and Clayton. Thank you for my Mom, she is still here and I can talk to her almost everyday. Thank you for Steve and his kindness and genuine soul. Thank you for a warm place to sleep and food to eat. Thank you that I was fortunate enough to be born in the United States of America. Thank you for my brothers and sisters. Thank you for my nieces and nephews. Thank you for apple and pumpkin pie all year and a furnace that kicks on and keeps me warm. Thank you for the ducks. Thank you for reading this. If no one has said this to you today; Thank you.